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Summer's Here and The Kid Is Home...

May 21st, 2009 at 01:49 pm

Wow.

The kid is still insistent that I buy him a car to replace the one he totaled. I'm still insistent that the answer to that is 'No'.

His original plan was to get a summer job and save money for a car by September. (He currently has $1,000, which used to be $1,800...not sure how he spent $800, because he certainly has nothing to show for it. That's another blog entry.) He has been lazy about seeking employment the past two weeks and is extremely reluctant to catch the bus to 'anywhere'.

We (me and his step-dad) offered to help with transportation if he got a summer job convenient for us (i.e., not too far from home). I also offered to contribute 'some' matching money to money that he saves.

Even though family and friends tell me to give in and help him out, 'just buy him a car!' they say, I'm comfortable with my stance. He's not in high school anymore so it's no longer a power struggle for me. (It was at one time!!) But there's no more punishment, no more grounding of a 20-year-old (not sure that it worked in high school!) I'm allowing HIS choices and HIS consequences to affect HIS life. I just have to stay strong here.

My choice is to help, but remain focused on my own goals. My choice is to help him, but not to carry him. I feel like I've figured it out, like something snapped in my mind when he was ranting about it...the battle is more on him then it is with me. I HAVE a car. I HAVE a job. I BOUGHT him a car that he didn't take care of. I'm doing the right thing.

Plan to tell him 'No' a lot when he asks me for money or to buy him a car. Also plan to tell him I love him a lot when he doesn't ask. The two are so closely connected for him.

He's a bright kid and fairly independent... until we get to the subject of money. Heavy sigh... All my fabulous frugality has fallen on deaf ears...

Wow. What a rant. I was really just checking in, since it's been a while. It's great to reconnect with everyone's blogs. I've been working extra hours so I haven't made much time to blog. Think good thoughts everyone! And those who are staying on budget and reaching savings goals--keep up the good work!

4 Responses to “Summer's Here and The Kid Is Home...”

  1. NJDebbie Says:

    You are doing the right thing. Please don't give in.

  2. denaf Says:

    Stay strong. It will be better for both of you in the end.

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Uht-oh. Does he even know how much his insurance would now be? I agree you are doing the right thing.

  4. miclason Says:

    Yes, you are doing the right thing. If you feel like you're about to give in, think of that totaled car and about what you felt when you first saw it and thought "my kid was in THAT car!"... if he has to buy the car himself, he will surely be a lot more careful!

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