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Archive for February, 2014

Life Can Change in a Matter of Days

February 5th, 2014 at 11:44 am

Life can change in a matter of days...

A few days before my mother-in-law passed away last month (January), my spouse talked about moving out/separating.

Then his mother passed away. The conversation about separation/divorce has been tabled for now due to the sensitivity of grief. He's been in a state of grief and depression for days. She had been suffering from Alzheimer's for years and my spouse and 2 of his sisters were the care-givers.

And then... last week my son had a similar schizophrenic episode like the one he had about 4 years ago. Heartbreaking! He was admitted to the hospital from the ER. He was released after 5 days. He's stabilized and on medication but we're watching him closely.

After the first episode 4 years ago, we did not have a lot of medical info or support (the mental health arena is SO confusing!!) and his doctor discontinued his medication after about 8 months because his behavior 'normalized'. During the 4 years of time since that first episode, my son was doing ok, but not really ok -- functioning, but not functioning as well as a mother would hope (i.e, he dropped out of college, was fired from a couple of retail jobs, had several dramatic breakups with his girlfriend).

This time around he was released with a diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder. The prognosis is not great, but we have more info.

Life can change in a matter of days...

I'm ok. I've had a little time to process all of this and will continue to process it. I could crawl up under the covers and sleep all day, but I won't -- I have a great faith, a great family and church family and friends.

All of this brings up a lot of concerns. A divorce--if we do divorce--will not be ugly on my part--we've just run out of steam. I've been through a divorce before and this one--if it happens--will be far more friendly than my previous divorce, if I'm allowed to say that. I won't know anything until we revisit the conversation.

Being practical--the practical person I am--I have financial concerns. The possibility of splitting my retirement if we get divorced changes everything! And financially taking care of my son for the rest of his life... A lot to adjust to, but I'll have to adjust. I'll keep working my plan until I come up with a better one. And pray for a miracle.