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Family Stuff

February 3rd, 2009 at 12:37 am

First matter: I plan to discuss the household budget with my spouse this week. (This should put him to sleep by 8 pm!) As previously noted, I get really upset that my spouse is bored by all things financial and that he and I are not on the same page when it comes to financial goals. But things could be worse. He's not a heavy spender, so I don't REALLY have to worry about that. But he is a heavy GIVER to his family (6 siblings, 23 young adult nieces and nephews) and his adult children from his previous marriage. (I'm not sure what he tells his family members, but they seem to think I'm rich. They've never asked me for money directly, but they hint a lot...)

Anyway, while I don't have to worry TOO much about the spouse over-spending, it would be nice to have a partnership in this area. I'll just keep at the financial goals like I've been doing. I'll work with what I've got and try not to rant and whine too much about you know who...

Matter number 2: The kid calls from college fairly often. He's still without a car and has made some unwise finanical decisions lately. I've stood my ground fairly well. (My spouse, however, might be sneaking him additional funds.)

The kid called today to remind me his birthday's coming up. (Like, I, his birth mother, would not know this.) I think he intended to ask for something ridiculous like a new car or an extravagant cell phone, but he didn't get around to asking. I took the opportunity to let him know that he'll be 20 years old on this birthday and that the days of Mr Gatti's Playland parties and extravagant gifts are over. That kid has wasted so much of my money over the past years, it's got to stop. I think food, shelter, college tuition, some spending money, and the car he totaled is plenty!!

Anyway, I figure this is as good a time as any to continue with having the kid develop more finanical responsiblity. I have another 6 weeks before birthday time and pray that I stay strong and silent about it. I want to do something nice and thoughtful for the kid, but nothing that goes financially overboard the way I've done in the past. I can no longer be his personal bail-out plan. Having said that, think good thoughts that I continue to show progress in this area! It's harder than it looks...

4 Responses to “Family Stuff”

  1. Amber Says:

    Tell me about family, they can milk you dry. I stop giving big gifts to my nieces and nephews a long time ago, as my mother would say it's time to get off the breast milk. Besides it's the thought that matters

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    I do wish you well in dealing with your son.

  3. whitestripe Says:

    maybe you could set up a 'gift' account, where you and your spouse could deposit money into. then he will be able to SEE how much money you both have to give, and he will realise he can't give XXX to person A if he wants to give XX to B and XX to C in a month as well.

    as for your son, well, my mum has never given me extravagent gifts because she cant afford it. my dad gave me an iriver for my 18th, digital camera for my 19th, global knife set for my 20th and an espresso coffee machine for my 21st, but i do not ask him for any extra money, ever. i appreciate anything he gives me, but never expect anything at all. also, for christmas the gifts are always much smaller, like a dvd or some cds, some books, clothes etc. maybe you could get your son a voucher for a bookstore or something?

  4. oceansluver78 Says:

    I think once a chile hit 16 family presents such as x mas gifts should stop.....My grandparents have over 20 grandchildren me bieng the oldest 30 with the youngest on the way!

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