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Life Can Change in a Matter of Days

February 5th, 2014 at 11:44 am

Life can change in a matter of days...

A few days before my mother-in-law passed away last month (January), my spouse talked about moving out/separating.

Then his mother passed away. The conversation about separation/divorce has been tabled for now due to the sensitivity of grief. He's been in a state of grief and depression for days. She had been suffering from Alzheimer's for years and my spouse and 2 of his sisters were the care-givers.

And then... last week my son had a similar schizophrenic episode like the one he had about 4 years ago. Heartbreaking! He was admitted to the hospital from the ER. He was released after 5 days. He's stabilized and on medication but we're watching him closely.

After the first episode 4 years ago, we did not have a lot of medical info or support (the mental health arena is SO confusing!!) and his doctor discontinued his medication after about 8 months because his behavior 'normalized'. During the 4 years of time since that first episode, my son was doing ok, but not really ok -- functioning, but not functioning as well as a mother would hope (i.e, he dropped out of college, was fired from a couple of retail jobs, had several dramatic breakups with his girlfriend).

This time around he was released with a diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder. The prognosis is not great, but we have more info.

Life can change in a matter of days...

I'm ok. I've had a little time to process all of this and will continue to process it. I could crawl up under the covers and sleep all day, but I won't -- I have a great faith, a great family and church family and friends.

All of this brings up a lot of concerns. A divorce--if we do divorce--will not be ugly on my part--we've just run out of steam. I've been through a divorce before and this one--if it happens--will be far more friendly than my previous divorce, if I'm allowed to say that. I won't know anything until we revisit the conversation.

Being practical--the practical person I am--I have financial concerns. The possibility of splitting my retirement if we get divorced changes everything! And financially taking care of my son for the rest of his life... A lot to adjust to, but I'll have to adjust. I'll keep working my plan until I come up with a better one. And pray for a miracle.

11 Responses to “Life Can Change in a Matter of Days”

  1. ThriftoRama Says:

    Hugs. That's a lot to take in. And to me, it doesn't sound like he was functioning. Why did the doctor take him off the medications?? That is a terrible idea.

    I don't want to scare you, but one of my friends from childhood had schizophrenia, and stopped taking his medications. He committed suicide, leaving behind a wife and a 2 year old. It is very sad, and with mental illness, you have to be vigilant.

  2. Petunia 100 Says:

    That is an awful lot to happen in only a few days. Frown
    Best wishes to you and your family.

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    ((Hugs)) That is a lot on your plate. Wishing you and your son ALL the best!

  4. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    {{hugs}} I'm sorry you're having to deal with all that.

  5. Looking Forward Says:

    ((HUGS))
    That is a lot to deal with! Best of luck all the way around.

  6. Dividing the Dime Says:

    Thank you all for your kind words and hugs. This is a lot to deal with. One day at a time (one hour at a time) is all I can hope to manage. Thank you again!

  7. baselle Says:

    {{{Hugs}}} I am so sorry that its everything at once. One day at a time.

  8. wife of the deacon Says:


    Dear Dividing the Dime,
    Please know that your family is in my prayers right now. That you find peace. No doubt that these are troubling times, but I believe with a strong faith community and support you will be OK. That is an awful amount of stress to deal with. Taking one hour at a time is all you have to do right now to get through.
    Laura

  9. CB in the City Says:

    You are dealing with so much. I would keep the divorce tabled for a while. There is no way either of you are thinking straight right now. You can sort it out when things normalize a bit. Take care.

  10. Rachael777 Says:

    Prayers and ((hugs))

  11. Thrifty Ray Says:

    {{hugs}} to all of you. I am so sorry there is so much to worry about right now.

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